A friend recently posted about the song, "Blessed Be Your Name." That is one of the few songs with which I have a real love/hate relationship. I literally cringed when I hear the opening bars of the music. I know what is coming.
Yes, I am blessed. Yes, my desire is to praise God and bless His name, regardless of my circumstances. But still I cringe. Even reading her post about the song made the melody play in my head....and then the words came, too.
A few years ago, my husband was leading worship and kept adding this blasted song to the playlist. I really tried to encourage him to throw the chord sheets away, set them on fire, or anything that would cause him to cease and desist. I could not handle that song. In my mind, I had a valid reason.
"You give and take away, You give and take away.
My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name."
January 2010, I lost my Mom after a very short illness. Six months later, we found out I was pregnant with our second child. By February 2011, I was two weeks from my due date and got the call from my Dad that he was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I knew this baby was going to be born smack dab in the middle of losing both my parents.
I learned to hate that song.
I didn't understand WHY the "give and take away" bridge was required to be played. I didn't want to hear it. The worst part for me was the fact that I was on stage SINGING those words as part of the praise and worship team. It took everything I had to hold back the tears.
Every. Single. Time.
Yet, the music continued to play. I continued to sing as best as I could. I continued to hate the song, while still loving my Savior. I never went through the "blame game" with God. I didn't question His Sovereignty or Goodness. I just hated that song.
I hated those words piercing my soul.
It made me FEEL.
And I didn't LIKE feeling that way. I didn't like feeling LOSS or GRIEF or PAIN. I am a strong person. I consider myself an encourager. I wanted to be the one LIFTING others up, not needing to be lifted.
It made me feel vulnerable.
I felt the NEED for God to carry me when I didn't know how to move myself forward.
I don't know that I have an ending to this story. I really believe it is one that is on-going. There is a transformation that continues on. It doesn't stop. I haven't ARRIVED yet. I am always learning, changing, evolving into the person I am meant to be.
The point is simply to show that THERE IS HOPE. It would be completely trite to say "There are brighter days ahead, hold on." So, I'm not going to paint the picture of rainbows and butterflies after a tough season of life. But I DO want to share HOPE with you.
My running life is a direct outpouring of my personal life. What I do in my business goes hand-in-hand with my story. I want to SHOW HOPE to those who need to see it.
Running clears my head and fills my heart.
Working out makes me feel strong.
Eating well nourishes my body and gives me peace.
My heart is full with the love of God and HE is my Sustain-er through all things.
Do you need to be encouraged in this season of life? Are you looking for a way to get healthy from the inside out? I want to set you up for success.
Join my next health and fitness accountability group called Inside Out Challenge Group. Prep week begins Monday, October 12, 2015. Encouragement to show HOPE in your journey to health.
This group will include:
I KNOW that it is possible to lose weight and get back on track on your own. I've been there. The problem is that it becomes such a struggle to go it alone. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE! Sometimes there are seasons in life when we need to LET GO and allow others to help us along the way. If this is a time where you could use some support, a shoulder, someone to guide you through when you don't know where to start, I am inviting YOU to join me. Let me share HOPE with you.
Fill out the form below to reserve your spot on this incredibly journey!
Wife. Mother. Runner. Coach. Adoption Advocate. I strive to share HOPE through my journey and help others reach their goals.